A Spirituality of Parenting and Caregiving
Or how two dads celebrate mothers' day...
As a household with two dads, all of the ads for “Mothers’ Day” make us feel a little odd. We center a particular experience of parenting in our cultural narrative, and while these are the thoughts of a parent, I hope there is room here for those who aren’t currently parents. Whether you have kids in your life, or grandkids, “niblings”, students or campers, I think there is wisdom to be gathered from reflecting on the role of caregiver.
Parenting, for me so far, has meant laughter and tears, exultation and exhaustion. I have encountered extremes I didn’t know existed.
I once thought I had deconstructed my faith enough to let go of praying for specific outcomes, but prayer was the only response I had to a diaper rash so bad it left our whole family in tears. Parenting has shown me some of my limits, some of my edges. Parenting has also pushed me let go of some of my selfishness. Taking care of all the bodily needs of a toddler teaches a special kind of selflessness. Caregiving is a path of “downward mobility” if ever there was one.
I am mindful as well how lucky my spouse and I are to be supported by a “village.”a We have incredibly family, friends, an amazing church, and a phenomenal daycare supporting our parenting (You can read about and support our daycare center below). Still, being a primary caregiver has taken over a huge amount of my energy and identity in ways I didn’t know were possible.
The last thing I want to say about spirituality of parenting or caregiving is this: “doing it well takes profound courage.” The last several months, I have been accompanying the parents of trans kids to our state capitol. I’ve listened as parents asked their government not to interfere in their kids’ healthcare. I have watched parent after parent respond with grace and tenacity. I have listened to parents talk about how love for their child turned them from skeptics into champions for trans rights. The state of our politics is broken. But friends, in the realm of parenting and caregiving, I have real hope.
Blessings,
Mike+
Support Cornerstone
Our kiddo has been with Cornerstone since almost the day he came to us. I don't think I knew how special Cornerstone was, until I had a conversation with my sister about daycare:
She was telling me about all the various fees she faced for care, including the “per diaper” fee she paid (if the diapers she provided her kids center ran out). I said, "wow, huh, our daycare just provides the food and the diapers for our kid." She couldn't believe the difference.
Cornerstone keeps the barriers to childcare low, so that there can be equity in the community of parents. I wish everyone had access to such a caring and loving community for their kids like Cornerstone.
Donate to the LGBTQ+ Media Fund
St. Louis clergy, who have been active in LGBTQ+ rights this season, have decided to start a multi-media campaign affirming the Trans community. In response to the unprecedented attacks, we are imagining bill boards, signs, and social media posts all affirming the LGBTQ+ community. We could use your help to raise money to let the community know queer people are whole, valued, and beloved.